Progress (not mine nor PD nor medical)

I can't believe it! After only 34 years my telephone is history, darn it. I am relegated to looking at Bart Simpson's butt to dial out. And it is so old it has a switch to change from pulse to tone. Problem is they discontinued my party line 16 years ago and rendered it obsolete at that time.

I complained. In steps monolithic ConTel. I can't keep my party line. Rats! And if I move to the wrong place, I can't keep my number. But I can keep my green phone: My trusty, faithful, ever-loud, rotary dial, Stromberg-Carlson, green phone. But for you neophytes, it is wired for party lines and now won't ring on a private line. Rats!

Once ConTel told me I could bring phones to the office to be "wired" for party line use. Can they re-wire my trusty green phone to go back the other way? No. It's mine. Do I rent it? No. It's mine. Didn't buy it from ConTel? No, I guess they gave it to me, it's mine, my problem. What a gyp. Rats

Well, by hook or crook or crock, I managed to rewire it for a private line. Another blissful 16 years went by and one day I tried to dial out and couldn't. I wanted to keep my old phone number when I moved 16 yrs ago. It is similar to Sacred Heart Church in Conroe and the Flagship Hotel in Galveston. We finally became like answering service to Sacred Heart. It was; easier to answer questions than to redirect calls. But, I told Father Dave, there is no truth to the rumor that I heard confessions over the phone. We did make some appointments for him, though, and I hoped he showed up. Now, I could still get calls for Sacred Heart but I couldn't call there myself. I guess the Flagship Hotel in Galveston tangled with Ike and sunk. Enter my ever-omnipotent son and he checked it after we finished fishing. It seems Consolidated Communications, nee ConTel, changed me over to tone dialing only. Rats, foiled again.

Now I have to have a Bart Simpson phone I can't hear (but his eyes light up!) so I can dial out. I have to sniff his butt every call. Oh, the ignominy of it all. (At least my spell checker didn't squiggle me on ignominy.)